Stressed

It's always Thursday that makes me feel goddamnit awful & like crap.
Cuz there's IS & it's forever rushing for time.
Take tday for example, we go through th concepts tday & r supposed t come up w advertisements & present it the next week. Hello! You think we only have this ONE module!?
It's crazy rush lor! & obviously I can't work well under stressed please.


So every time aftr class on Thursday I'd call Baby & rant. Srsly feel like crap now. Im like forever rushing for time, fighting for tt extra one minute t get things done. & I HATE IT.


& now I have another project on hand which I have no idea how & where t start. So demoralizing. Especially whn th deadline's like NEAR. Ya la, I procrastinate too. But m just not motivated t do anything. I know Im trusted w that responsibility & I should fulfil it. But somehow, I feel like I'm not profficient in that at all.


Nd it's moments like this, that makes me feel utterly useless. People around me, they can be good with so many things. Techy stuff, fashion, photography, artistic creations, blablabla. But I can't seem t find one that is applicable t myself.
Like I have no passion. I have no goals in life. More recently, especially seeing few mates graduating & moving t th next stage in life - working. I question myself more often than I thought I would; what d I want t do next? What d I want t do w myself aftr I graduate? Where d I see myself at in 5 years' time?
I simply have no answer.
& that is dejecting.


Maybe I think too much, I don't know? It's so stressful & saddening how a simple stressed up day can make me so negative altogether. It's a every week thing, t feel like Im rushing t finish my IS reports, I should take it lightly cuz I saw it coming & I know I'd ultimately complete it on time. But nonetheless, I always, ALWAYS, let it get t me & successfully make myself feel rotten. & thanks uh, th rain tday did not help.


Realistically, I have my week4 tutorials t complete. I have my IEF elearning t complete. I have my BCOMM report t write up. & I have so many projects that I have not started a fucking single shit. I ought t be worrying & rushing. But I just don't give a fucking damn now. I just wnna cut away everything relating t school...
Right now.. I just wnna go back t Wentworth Miller (& my awesome dream this morning).


Bye guys.

離開﹐重逢

在生命里﹐有些東西就是這樣。
在要離別﹐要分開時﹐ 會感到特別傷感﹐特別不捨。好像你生命里的一部分就要跟著他的離別一起被帶走。
如果你夠堅強﹐如果你不會感情用事﹐如果你懂得喊“停”﹐在離別時你就不會那麼不捨了。

幾年下來﹐當你再次遇到當年從你生命里離開的那個人﹐所有共同的回憶湧上心頭。心裡充滿了感觸。但是這次你放聰明了﹐你不會再次被他的出現而變得慌張。你知道他這次再踏進你的人生﹐也只是為了離開。

你再也不會因為他的出現而感到很多莫名的感觸。你知道你們分享過的點點滴滴都已經是過去了。已經不可能再發生了。儘管那些都是很好﹐很美的回憶。但那都只是回憶。

現在在你面前的他﹐可能已經不再是以前的他。一樣在﹐現在在他面前的你﹐或許。。也已經不是一樣的你。。
所以何必讓過去“糾纏”著彼此呢﹖

就把那些美好的回憶埋藏在心裡。知道彼此曾在自己生命里留下腳印。知道彼此在自己的生命里曾有過的意義。
然後繼續過著沒有對方﹐卻仍然快樂的生活。。

insecurities kill more than curiousity.

im feeling v insecure, unwell, lonely, upset now.
but thr's no reason for my behavior. it's just so sudden.
nd im not liking it AT ALL.
i feel like crying:( why am i not in Baby's arm tnight..

rnaodm

Didn't wanted t come home tday.
Nd th moment I reached, I rushed into my room like thr's a magnet pulling me twards it.


Idk, but have been getting such feelings lately.
It's only around last year that I realise there were actually times where I wnna run away from home, for no good reasons.
Just wnna be away from my safe haven, away from people who truely love nd care about me.
I wnna be away from my house, but I wnna be in my room.
But th thing is you gotta be in your house before you could get t your room, which is why I'm eventually back home.
Don't say I'm weird.
Thr must have been times where you just wanna run away. Nd you don't want anyone t find you.


As I grow up, as I get more independent, I get that feeling more often.
Don't get me wrong, I'm still v close w my parents, still tell them everything under th sun.
But I just feel like running away now.
Maybe it's th exam stress?





I'll be back soon.