It's a long long post.

How often do you change your mind because of something you saw, you read, you heard or you came across?
I, am a victim of weak mind.

Just read Jenn dear's entry and I start to ponder. Think real hard.

And it seems like, I'm wasting my life away.
I've always thought that I'm still young and that I still have many years ahead to figure out what I really wanna do with my life. So whenever people ask me, "What do you intend to do when you grow up?" my answer would always be something that I am interested at that point. My answer never seems to be constant. Because I never knew what I wanted to be when I grow up.
And before I realise, I'm already growing up. I'm already a 19year old gurl. But I still don't know what I wanna be, what I wanna do in th NEAR future.

At some point of life, I wished that I could just drop every single responsibility I have and escape from this hectic world.
Escape from my procrastination,
escape from my responsibility,
escape from my responsibility in each and every role I play,
escape from my everything.

And if one day I were to take a look at my life as a third party, I'd probably find myself laughing at my own stupidity for wasting away my youth doing stupid and meaningless things. And then I'd start to regret and reproach myself for being that stupid.

Maybe I should start washing those Eeyores who has been seating on those shelves for ever.
Maybe I should start attending my bike practical lessons.
Maybe I should start thinking about where I wanna go after graduation from here.
Maybe I should start saving money for my future studies and bike.
Maybe I should start learning how to give instead of receiving.
Maybe I should start trying to be magnanimous about every hurt that people inflict on me.
Maybe I should start reducing th hurt I bring to people, to an even lower level.
Maybe I should start thinking for myself more than I think for them.
Maybe I should start..
There are so many and too many Maybe I should start. But how many do I actually fufill?

Stagnant.
Changes.
Stagnant.
Changes.
Stagnant.
Changes.
These happens all th time in life. And we have to embrace it, no matter we like it or not.

There's gonna be a change in my life, soon.
Because I'm going to work on getting my bike license.
And I promise I'll get it (:


It does feel good!
To let everything out at a go. And not bottling up them all in th heart.













And to lao dua eh/mumu, I'm sorry for scaring you this afternoon with that terribly unexpected loud cry. I don't know what's gotten into me. I know it's stupid to cry like that over th washing of Eeyores. I was terrified by myself as well. I really don't know why did I start crying that loud and insanely. Forgive my craziness and insanity. (: